By Pastor Craig Pederson
I first saw the phrase on a billboard a couple of months ago: EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. “Huh, maybe it will,” I thought. I felt better for a moment; it was a welcome respite from the constant problem-solving, low-level-anxiety mode I had been in for several weeks.
Versions of that message seemed to appear more regularly after that: On store and home window signs, in sidewalk chalk and public art displays, and in social media. A neighbor a few blocks from our house created a beautiful sign loosely quoting Julian of Norwich: “All will be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
“How can positivity become toxic?”
I get a little boost each time I see one of these messages. Sometimes I walk the dog past that neighbor’s house just to see if the sign is still there, and it is. But the boost is short-lived.
Pandemic. Systemic racial injustice. Economic inequality and upheaval. Extreme political division. Climate change. Everything is not fine. All is not well.
And as far as I know, there’s no cosmic egg timer counting down to the buzzer indicating when “well” will be done.
RECENTLY I READ an article that introduced a new concept to me: “toxic positivity.” Huh? What is toxic positivity. Those are two words I never would have expected to relate to each other.
We are in a moment where we are celebrating the 100th anniversary of women’s right to vote and the 50th anniversary of women’s ordination in the ELCA. Men are learning to listen ppand change behaviors from the #MeToo movement, and to address persistent workplace inequalities between men and women. In this moment, the concept of “toxic masculinity” is helping us understand how males grow up in a culture that allows and even encourages male superiority, violence, and aggression in ways that are harmful – toxic – to women and to men themselves.
But how can positivity become toxic – especially at a time when we need encouragement and good news more than ever?
“I see some of this toxic positivity in the disciple Peter in Matthew 16:21-28, this week’s assigned text.”
“While cultivating a positive mind-set is a powerful coping mechanism, toxic positivity stems from the idea that the best or only way to cope with a bad situation is to put a positive spin on it and not dwell on the negative,” said Natalie Dattilo, a clinical health psychologist with Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. “It results from our tendency to undervalue negative emotional experiences and overvalue positive ones.”
I see some of this toxic positivity in the disciple Peter in Matthew’s gospel that happens to be appointed for this week (Matthew 16:21-28) for the Revised Common Lectionary. Jesus has just lauded Peter for recognizing that he is the Messiah, the son of the living God. Peter will be a cornerstone of Christ’s church. That’s got to feel good, right?
But then Jesus starts to tell the disciples how he will undergo suffering and death, and Peter wanted none of it. Whether Peter actually intended to protect Jesus or he just didn’t want to feel badly himself, he blurts out, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” Jesus calls him out and says, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” Satan, ouch! That’s about as toxic as it gets.
IF WE COULD DENY pain and avoid suffering, of course we would sign up for that, wouldn’t we? Peter thought that was an option. When he later denied Jesus three times, he realized it wasn’t.
Nor is it an option for us – at least it’s not an equal option. Part of toxic positivity is realizing that some people have less choice to say “all will be well” than others. Psychologist Dattilo says:
‘Looking on the bright side’ in the face of tragedy of dire situations like illness, homelessness, food insecurity, unemployment, or racial injustice is a privilege that not all of us have. So promulgating messages of positivity denies a very real sense of despair and hopelessness, and they only serve to alienate and isolate those who are already struggling.
Theologically, there is another name for this: The Theology of Glory. Deny the suffering, brokenness, and injustice of the world and get right to the good stuff of God’s love through Jesus Christ and eternal life. Skip right over Good Friday, and land on Easter Sunday.
But Jesus didn’t skip over the tough stuff, and we can’t either. Jesus taught and lived the Theology of the Cross. “Let anyone who would deny themselves take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” ( vv. 24-25). This is where we will find true life, true love, true purpose and meaning.
“Part of toxic positivity is realizing that some people have less choice to say ‘all will be well’ than others.”
So does that make the 14th century mystic Julian of Norwich a purveyor of toxic positivity 700 years before it became a thing? I don’t think so. In chapter 27 of her Revelations of Divine Love, she says,
It is [sayeth] that sin is cause of all this pain; but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner [of] thing shall be well. Then were it a great unkindness to blame or wonder on God for my sin, since [God] blameth not me for sin. And in these words I saw a marvellous [sic] high mystery hid in God, which mystery [God] shall openly make known to us in Heaven: in which knowing we shall verily see the cause why [God] suffered sin to come. In which sight we shall endlessly joy in our Lord God.
The church is uniquely called to be a place of hope. As we practice being neighbors in this new reality, as we listen to the voices of the marginalized and stand in solidarity with the oppressed, let us be positive and encouraging without denying the deep challenges we face. That is the way of Christ who goes before us.