By Meghan Olsen Biebighauser
I don’t know what it’s like at your house, but in my house the kids are running wild. Frances, my seven-year- old, changes out of her PJs maybe every other day, and spends her time alternating between throwing birthday parties for her dolls, interrupting my work Zoom calls to say hi to everyone, and making questionable design choices for our shared Animal Crossing island paradise.
Robin, my two-year-old, is at all times running back and forth across the living room carrying an old iPhone and singing along to either Hamilton or Disney’s Descendants songs. These routines are interrupted by the occasional visit to a park or bike ride, but this has basically been our whole summer.
“This summer has looked very different from the kids’ usually daddy-centric summer days of public pools and zoos and playdates.”
My spouse, Jeff, is a teacher and thankfully has been available to be the primary parent all summer while I worked. However, it’s looked very different from their usually daddy-centric summer days of public pools and zoos and playdates.
It hasn’t been easy – even though we acknowledge all the privilege that has come with being a two-parent household with jobs that have remained secure. This summer has been a struggle for our family and for every family I know.
WE’VE FOUND SOME REAL grace, though, in glimpses both small and large.
One friend surprised us by dropping off “ice cream for the grownups” on our stoop. The public school breakfasts and lunches that we pick up from school each week have brought some semblance of routine, as well as connection to classmates through distance. Frances can eat her blueberry waffles or tamales and think about her classmates sharing the same meals with their siblings in their homes (in an almost eucharistic sense), the most connection they’ve had in months.
We’ve also been offered grace from our colleagues, (and by extension, Congress). I was able to take several weeks of leave this Spring through the Family First Act, which entitles many workers with children whose schools are closed to leave with (2/3) pay which is reimbursed to the employer. It was a total lifesaver for my family, and one we’re likely to have to call on again this Fall. It’s not perfect, but it helps. It does, however, need to be expanded and extended in future coronavirus relief acts, so that more working parents can have access; please consider talking with your Senators about this extension if the program has been meaningful to your family as well.
“Let’s commit to offer grace to those struggling with the vocation of parenthood.”
Fall is going to be a doozy. Let’s commit to offer grace to those struggling with the vocation of parenthood, valued so highly by Martin Luther. (He wrote in The Large Catechism, “To this estate of fatherhood and motherhood, God has given the special distinction above all estates.”) How can your workplace offer flexibility to families who are juggling competing priorities? How can your congregation offer this grace to its staff?
Sometimes it is an expression of grace to let people work flexible hours or bring their kids with them. Sometimes it is an expression of grace to offer to Facetime their kid for 20 minutes so they don’t have to hear their kid tell the same. Story. Over. And. Over.
Sometimes it is an expression of grace just to listen as a neighbor or friend vents about schooling decisions, or navigating unemployment benefits, or the struggle of doing a socially-distant visit with grandparents.
And, it’s always an expression of grace to drop off ice cream for the grownups.