By Brenda Blackhawk
I love this time of year: the cold snap in the air, the spicy scents, and the pretty lights and decorations. And, I love the relational aspects of the season – the gifts (both the giving and receiving), the jokes, the games, and, of course, the incredible meals shared with loved ones.
Advent into Christmas is one of my favorite church seasons. I love the Advent hymns and the Christmas carols. I love the anticipation and all the little ways we build up to the birth of our Savior. And I love the Christmas Eve service at my home congregation, Salem Lutheran. It’s special – the way the sanctuary looks soft and lovely in the candlelight, our voices lifted as the evening fades into deep night.
“All the sadness and frustration and despair and anger has just been building up, undealt with.”
The events of this year have taken away so much from so many. From business activity and financial security to our sense of community to individuals’ health and lives. This year has been difficult, to vastly understate. And we have no reason to believe that anything will have changed for the better by Christmas.
That means, as we are doing in all other aspects of our lives, we will adjust and cope the best we can. For some people, like myself, this is easy to say and do, but much harder to feel. We look for hope and fun and then we fight to cling onto it. We excitedly try to convince ourselves when we try to convince others how great everything will be.
I am coming to the realization that for the past nine months I have been going and incessantly moving from one exciting event to the next. But all the sadness and frustration and despair and anger has just been building up, undealt with.
THIS TIME OF YEAR can also be stressful and overwhelming with non-stop activity. As I write this, I already have both of my Christmas trees up and decorated. I have bought and wrapped more than two dozen gifts and I will be taking my brother and sister shopping again later this evening. The go, go, GO is a great distraction from all the sadness and despair, but it doesn’t make me feel anything but tired.
“It is okay to cry about online worship on Christmas Eve.”
So, I give you all permission to feel all the “negative” feelings about how this year is closing out. I give you permission to mourn all that has been lost, both the things that we will never get back and the things that will one day feel safe and good again. It is okay to cry about online worship on Christmas Eve. It is just fine to rage and stamp your feet over the things that are out of our control, … and take lots of deep breaths. I give you and me and us permission to feel it all.
Let’s just get our emotional reactions out now (and later and whenever we need to just feel it). Our family and friends – and even ourselves – might thank us later if we can feel true joy at Christmas. After all, ready or not, Our Savior is coming, with an abundance of grace and love for us all.